It’s fair to say most narrowboats look pretty similar from a distance. Besides colour, there aren’t too many differentiators between one boat and the next (unless it’s yours, of course).
However, get closer, and one can appreciate the distinctive, intricate touches which indeed make each narrowboat unique. Whether you use your boat for holidaying or live out on the water full-time, personalising your narrowboat means it takes on a whole new persona.
One of the best and easiest ways to personalise your boat is by naming it. Funny narrowboat names, in particular, make passers-by smile and bring laughs to the water on those cold canal mornings. It’s no surprise we love them.
From witty puns and tongue-in-cheek jokes to the old waterway classics, we’ve got 17 funny narrowboat names to inspire you, and a light-hearted stab at whom might own them.
Which one’s your favourite?
Ship Happens
Simple but effective.
The owner of Ship Happens doesn’t take life too seriously and is happier for it. They love nothing more than a stress-free cruise, but if something doesn’t quite go to plan along the way—well, ship happens, right? They’ll always find a way to fix it.
Nauti-Buoy
This narrowboater definitely has a cheeky side but loves being out on the water, no less. Don’t be surprised if you see Nauti-Buoy moored up outside a canalside pub.
Soggy Bottom
Excuse me?
The owner of Soggy Bottom is often misunderstood. They just love baking scones and watching the Great British Bake Off every year. What else did you think?
Usain Boat
Usain Boat needs little explanation. Super slick, super-fast, and just a generally cool boat all-round. Be quick if you spot it, though—it doesn’t stay put for long!
As for its owner, they can only dream of being as cool, despite thinking otherwise.
Vitamin Sea
A summer-only narrowboater, you won’t catch Vitamin Sea’s owner out on the water out of season, but when you do, you’ll know it’s shorts and t-shirt weather.
This boater loves nothing more than catching a tan while gently cruising, and who can blame them?
Water U Lookin' At
This boater likes to think they don’t like being the centre of attention, but they definitely do. They look after their boat well, and it’s very easy on the eye as a result.
You don’t want to be caught staring, though!
Sir Osis of the River
A slightly older, more experienced boater, the owner of Sir Osis of the River has a penchant for the finer things in life.
This boat’s interior is furnished beautifully, and there’s a mini-bar with some of the finest whiskeys on the water to match.
Nofe Ixta Bode
As a full-time narrowboat dweller, Nofe Ixta Bode’s owner knows that a boat is for life, not just for the summer.
It’s not that they don’t like the so-called ‘part-timers’ (Vitamin Sea, we’re looking at you), but this boater much prefers the quieter months. Just them and the water. Bliss!
Buoyoncé
New to the water and keen to make an impression, this boat owner is bold, brave and extravagant.
Remember what we said earlier about narrowboats not having much between them visually? Buoyoncé is an anomaly and then some.
You can spot this boat a mile off. It’s ‘blinged’ up to the maximum outside and in.
May Contain Nuts
This owner needn’t ever worry about forking out for narrowboat repairs—they’re more than capable of a bit of DIY when needed.
There’s definitely a cheeky side to this one, but you’ll never catch them out when it comes to their narrowboat. They know everything there is to know about them.
Absolutely Anchored
If the sun’s out, you’ll find this boater in a canalside beer garden somewhere for sure.
They work hard (as you’ll see from the pristine condition of their narrowboat), but they don’t half play hard, too.
Piston Broke
Another pub frequenter, the owner of Piston Broke is nothing if not charmingly self-deprecating.
What you see is what you get with this boater—no gimmicks or false pretence, and as long as they’re on the water, they’re happy.
Fishful Thinkin'
You’d have to be into fishing to own a boat called Fishful Thinkin’, right?
This boater loves nothing more than cruising towards a quiet stretch of water, mooring up for the day and getting out the deckchair and rods. A regular on the Shropshire Union Canal, in particular, there’s no type of fish they’ve not caught.
She Got The House
Divorced but happy, this narrowboat owner is another graduate from the school of self-deprecation.
Happily boating solo, freedom of the waterways has given this boater a completely new lease of life. They love nothing more than watching the passing wildlife, walks and watercolours. They even sell the odd piece of artwork from time to time.
Boaterhead
This music-mad boater loves Motorhead so much that it inspired the name of their narrowboat. Fully decked out with music-inspired décor, there’s no mistaking Boaterhead.
When not on the water, its owner is either at a festival or planning their next one. Can you get to Glastonbury via the waterways? You bet they’ve tried.
Onion Bargee
You’re in for a good feed if you’re ever invited boating on Onion Bargee. As the name would suggest, this boater is a lover of fine Indian cuisine.
So much so that they’ve cleverly named their boat after their favourite starter!
A Fraid Knot
An older, highly-experienced narrowboater, A Fraid Knot’s owner is a veteran of the waterways in every sense.
There’s no route they’ve not cruised, no lock unlocked, or rope untangled. They like to think they’ve been narrowboating since ‘before it was fashionable’, but that one’s up for debate.
Has it ever not been?
Have we missed any? Get in touch via our social media channels and let us know your ideas. We’d love to hear your funny narrowboat names.
Specialist narrowboat insurance from Insure4Boats
Feeling inspired? Whatever you call your narrowboat, one non-negotiable is insurance. You need it.
At Insure4Boats, our specialist narrowboat insurance protects your boat against theft, accidental damage, malicious damage, and salvage charges.
We also provide third party liability and additional protection for the contents of your narrowboat, as well as cover in the event of accidents or injuries.
Click below to learn more about our specialist narrowboat insurance from Insure4Boats and get a bespoke online quote today.
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